


You'll Be Okay

by ineffabledaniel



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Sad Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 08:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15482184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffabledaniel/pseuds/ineffabledaniel
Summary: Dan tends to think a lot. These thoughts take a certain turn when Phil's away in Florida with his family. Queue Phil coming home to a very sad and anxious Dan.





	You'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first work so I'm sorry if its bad. It's a drabble of a prompt I thought about the other week! I hope you enjoy! Btw I'm @ineffabledaniel on tumblr :)

It’s no lie at all that Dan would miss Phil when he was away in Florida. Being without his boyfriend, who he’d seen everyday for eight years, for ten days  _ killed  _ him. Maybe it’s not  _ that _ dramatic, but still.

  


_ “I’ll see you in a week, babe. You’ll be okay. I love you.” Phil whispered, resting his forehead on Dan’s _

_ “Okay. I love you… I’ll miss you so much.” Dan whispered and kissed Phil lightly. _

_ “I’ll miss you too.” Phil said, before having to be on his way after a final hug. _

  


It was the fifth day of Phil being away and Dan had woken up early, so it’d be hours until he could message or call Phil. There was also nothing to do to keep him preoccupied, he was up to date with the laundry, he’d read and replied to every single one of his emails, the house was spotless, he’d been shopping for food and he’d just posted a video the night before.

So, there was absolutely nothing to do now. He stayed in bed for a while, watching YouTube videos that seemed decently interesting.

  


After around an hour or two of lounging around, he actually got up, walking tiredly into the kitchen. Breakfast was no fun without Phil.

  


_ “Get off my cereal!” Dan shouted, in a joking manner, as he entered the kitchen to the sight of Phil pouring his cereal into his mouth. Phil’s head snapped to the side to see Dan and put the box down, shaking his head. _

_ “Mm, me? I haven’t touched any cereal this morning.” He responded innocently, swallowing some cereal he still had in his mouth. _

_ “Oh really, Lester?” Dan responded, chuckling a little as he perched himself on the counter beside the box of cereal Phil was once eating. _

_ “Yes really, Howell.” Phil smiled and stood between Dan’s legs, looking up at him. _

_ “How many times do I have to catch you eating it until you stop, you have your own!” Dan sighed gently, rolling his eyes with utmost fondness. Phil chuckled, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist, Dan wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck in return. _

_ “But mine is sooo boring.” He groaned, rolling his eyes as he thought of his own cereal. _

_ “Then buy one you actually like, Philly.” _

_ “Mm, nah.” _

_ Dan laughed and shook his head. “I love you, nerd.” He muttered, to which, Phil kissed him softly and briefly.  _

_ “I love you too, dork.” _

  


After a while of waiting, he picked up the steaming kettle and poured enough water into his mug which has a little tea bag sitting in it. As that settled, Dan went into the full cupboards and took out his cereal. Then he took out a bowl, pouring the cereal in, then the milk. 

He finished up in the kitchen not long after and took the mug in one hand and the bowl in another as he went to sit in the lounge. As he flicked the TV on and shuffled through programs, he took sips of his tea and mouthfuls of cereal. Eventually he came across a show that wasn’t truly shit, but also wasn’t something he’d watch.

As the TV hummed in the background, Dan ate quietly. His phone had no interest to him right now, there was nothing to do on it. During the time that he ate, he also thought. Thinking was never fun, never ever. 

When Phil was home, he helped him out with his thoughts. He filtered each of the negative thoughts Dan would tell him into positive ones, change the wording and stuff.

  


_ “Not funny.” Dan told him. _

_ “Mm, okay, you aren’t funny, you’re hilarious.” Phil smiled in return, that contagious smile causing Dan to do the same in return. _

_ “Okay okay, untalented.” _

_ “Well, I can tell you right now, you are so talented. If you weren’t talented, would you have done a successful tour? If you weren’t talented, would you have 6 million followers? If you weren’t talented, would you have had a radio show for years? If you weren’t talented, would you have been picked for a documentary by the BBC?” Phil asked, smiling widely. _

_ Dan sighed, giving in. “God, I love you…” He whispered. _

  


These thoughts now, though, were different. It wasn’t a generic voice or anything like that. It was more close to home. It took only two seconds for him to realise. The voice now, was Phil’s.

Don’t listen.

**Don’t listen.**

“Don’t listen!” Dan scolded himself. All these words, phrases, sentences and paragraphs he heard, couldn’t be true. Could they? No, never, Phil would never say anything like that.

  


‘Useless.’ ‘Annoying.’ ‘Sad.’ ‘I’m only dealing with you because I don’t have to pay full rent.’ ‘I hate dealing with your whining, so I lie to you with sweet nothings.’

  


Dan had enough. He shot up out his seat and went to wash his pots, humming loudly to try and push his thoughts away. After washing up, he got changed from his pyjamas into some clothes.  

When he was changed, he called PJ.

  


“Hey, buddy!” PJ answered cheerfully.

“Hey, uh, would you mind me coming around for a bit?” Dan asked, scratching the back of his neck and pacing around. 

“Oh! No no, not at all. Feel free. Sophie’s staying at a friends for a while so I’m pretty bored anyway.”   
“Great, on my way.” Dan ended, smiling a little.

  


Dan spent the day with PJ, managing to get himself distracted for a while. When he got home, Phil called, it was noon in Florida and he slept in due to staying up last night with his family for a few drinks. Dan didn’t answer the first time, due to not hearing his phone as he walked through the door. 

The ignored phone call caused Phil to frown, maybe he was busy? Maybe he was out? Dan  _ always  _ told him when he went out though. Phil told himself to not worry yet, it couldn’t be much. So, he called again a few minutes later. This time, Dan replied. 

  


“Hi. I’m sorry I missed your call.” Spoke a familiar voice.

“Oh no, don’t worry! How are you, love?” Phil asked, smiling as he sat on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his bed hair.

“Mm, I’m good, how’re you? I thought you would have called earlier?” Dan responded as he walked down the empty and dark hall to sit on the bed in their room.

“I just woke up, I’m sorry.” Phil sighed a little and yawned. “But I’m okay, thank you. What have you done today?” He asked, voice still bubbly.

“Well, nothing too much. I was at PJ’s for most of the day, we just played video games and ate food really.” Dan yawned. “Yourself? Any plans for today?”

“Oh! That’s lovely! I’m glad you did something you enjoy!” Phil said, wholeheartedly. “We’re going to Universal, again, today. Mum and Martyn didn’t do everything they wanted to do.”

Dan responded with a chuckle. “Well have fun, babe. I’m heading off to bed soon, tired.” He said, stifling back yet another yawn.

“Okay, okay. You get some rest. Okay? I love you, remember that.”   
“Love you too.”

  


Dan woke up late the next morning and immediately it was clear today wasn’t a good day. He laid in bed for a while, looking straight at the wall. Then back came the thoughts, different thoughts, same voice. Phil’s voice.

Why was it Phil’s? What happened?

This time he couldn’t block it out, well, it wasn’t that he couldn’t block it out, it was that his depressive state wouldn’t let him.

  


-

  


This happened for another four days, the thoughts that is. Whenever he had a moment, and that was a lot, thoughts would flood his head and it felt like he was suffocating.

It was the day Phil came home, and Dan had already backed out of meeting him at the airport. Lied, said he didn’t feel well. The only thing actually making him feel uneasy was the thought of seeing Phil again. It had been implanted into his mind now that Phil hated him, truly, utterly, fucking hated him.

  


Phil though, was worried. Dan dodged calls constantly, never messaged, and didn’t even update social media. Oh and the times Dan did answer the call, he’d barely speak. He just didn’t seem happy. Did something happen at home? Hopefully not. 

When Phil’s plane landed, he rushed his family through the airport so he could get out quicker. After around fifteen minutes in the security queue, they were finally out. They said their goodbyes and Phil grabbed the first taxi he spotted.

After another twenty minutes, he arrived home. It took him a second to fumble through his keys and push it into the door, twisting it to gain entry.

  


“Dan?” Phil called out in his usual cheery tone.

Nothing.

“Dan?” He called again, a little concerned.

He dropped his bag at the door, also leaving behind his shoes, coat and suitcase before walking into the hallway, checking their room before going up to the lounge where he saw Dan. The sight made him frown, the younger male was curled up, not daring to even glance over at Phil.

  


Phil hurried to the sofa and sat down beside Dan, tempting to put an arm around the other.

“Love? Are you okay?” He whispered gently.

Nothing.

“Dan? You can talk to me… You know that.”   
Dan shuffled away to the side of the sofa, still nothing. That then caused worry to brew inside of Phil.

“Dan,  _ please  _ talk to me. I just want to help, I’m here for you.” He pleaded.

  


Then, Dan looked at him, bloodshot eyes from crying and shaking hands. 

“What do you want from me? Why do you keep acting like you care?” He asked shakily. “I know what you think about me… You- you hate me!” He added, now crying.

Phil’s eyes widened, his mouth gaped open like he was going to speak, but it took a few minutes.

“Dan… I don’t hate you. I could  _ never ever  _ hate you! What made you think that?”  He asked anxiously, what brought this on?

“You… You were in my thoughts. You were saying harsh thing… That’s how you truly feel… Isn’t it?” Dan sniffled, wiping his eyes to look at Phil.

That sight right there caused Phil’s heart to break. That’s why Dan’s been spacey, that’s why he’s not been engaging with Phil. Fuck.

  


“Dan, baby, hush.” Phil whispered in that soft voice he’d use when Dan was feeling horrible, or when he was just upset. It was risky, but he pulled Dan into his arms, wrapping them around him securely to rock him, luckily, Dan didn’t try get out the grip

“What have I told you before hm? Those thoughts, those nasty, nasty thoughts are not true. Even if you heard them in my voice, they are lies. You are way better than all of that. You’re loved by so many people, including me. Okay?” He whispered carefully.

Dan didn’t verbally respond. He listened to Phil speak about everything. Phil always had away around everything. Both Phil’s voice and his warmth were home to Dan. 

  


For around half an hour, Phil rocked Dan in his arms and felt the younger calm down slowly.

“How’re you feeling now, love? He quietly asked.

“Better.” He heard in response. “I’m glad you’re home, I missed you. I think that’s why I heard your voice in my bad thoughts, I missed you too much, I missed you helping me, I missed you laughing with me, I missed  _ you. _ ”

Phil smiled, nodding. “Well, I’m back, and I won’t let you be alone again. I’m gonna take you everywhere with me. You’re gonna be around me that much, you’ll get sick of me.”   
That caused Dan to giggle softly into Phil’s shirt. “I could never get sick of you, you nerd.”

“Mm, we’ll see, won’t we?” Phil responded, tickling Dan’s side gently.

“Hey! Hey stop!” Dan laughed and wriggled away until he was sat up on Phil’s lap. “Rude!”   
“You love it.”   
“Mm, I do.” Dan whispered before pulling Phil into a kiss by cupping his cheeks gently.

They pulled away and just gazed lovingly into each others eyes.

  


“You’ll be okay, I love you.” Phil whispered, resting his forehead on Dan’s.


End file.
